Obituary of Modestino Rocco DeFeo

Modestino Rocco DeFeo, 82, of Toms River, passed away on Saturday, November 15, 2014 at home, with his wife of 59 years, four children and all eight of his grandchildren, along with his family priest, a friend for the past 40 years, by his side. He was in the house which he had built and was his home for the past 48 years, and he went quietly and peacefully, after battling prostate cancer for the past 20 years or so. A remarkable feat of place and time, with an equally remarkable emotional memory for all of us present. We are thankful for that moment. Dad was a first generation Italian, the third and last surviving son, and the fourth of five children, of immigrant parents. Although born in Summit, New Jersey, he was raised in Southington, Connecticut, during the Depression. Being the son of Italian Catholics, he quite naturally considered becoming a priest. So he went to Holy Trinity, Alabama as a youngster, to join St. Joseph's seminary and pursue the priesthood. After several years there, he determined (thankfully) the priesthood was not his calling ( though he did develop a pretty good game of ping pong). He joined the United States Navy, and served as a test pilot in the 1950's and 1960's reaching the rank of Lieutenant Commander. He obtained a college degree while in the Navy. One night in 1966 on a test mission, he was forced to punch out of his jet, as it had developed a fire in one of the engines. He parachuted into the Currituck Sound, in North Carolina, was promptly rescued as part of what he called his "routine work," suffering nothing more serious than a thumb injury. The jet was not as fortunate, crashing and burning, but he retrieved the control stick from that plane as a souvenir and reminder, and it was a really cool toy for us as kids. He retired from the Navy in 1974, and then worked for an engineering firm until he retired in 1992. In the early 1970's he served as the President of the St. Joseph's Angels Booster Club, the fund raising group for the local parish's Pop Warner Football team which Stephen played for. He later served as the President of the St. Joseph's High School Football Booster Club, which both his sons played for. He also taught catechism and served as a church Eucharistic minister for some time at St. Joseph's. Sports and the Catholic Church were always very important to him. After retiring he spent time with his children, and grandchildren wherever they were - New Jersey, Oregon ( for a while) Connecticut and Florida. He and his wife loved to winter in Florida, as snowbirds, spending time on the east coast and then later going to the west coast, at Fiddler's Creek outside Naples where his nephew had a place and spent time with them. Dad was devoted to his wife and the family, the Catholic Church, and, in his later years, to his grandchildren. Watching them grow, succeed and perform, be it in sports, the arts, work or school, always gave him the most pleasure and was the one thing he missed the most when he became ill. And while we will miss him terribly, there is a measure of solace in knowing he is finally at peace. He was predeceased by his parents Rocco and Maria Sessa De Feo, two brothers John DeFeo, Biaggio Carmen DeFeo and a sister Camille Cupina . Surviving are his wife of 59 years, Dolores (Dory); two daughters, Doreen DeFeo ��"Gilroy (husband Timothy Gilroy) of Port Republic, NJ, Patricia DeFeo Baldini (husband Stephen Baldini) of Florida; two sons, Stephen Joseph DeFeo (wife Lisa Bontempo ) of Haddonfield, NJ, Joseph Anthony DeFeo (wife Therese Lederer) of Bethel CT; eight grandchildren, Stephen and Alix Baldini; Christine, Laura, Michael, and Maria DeFeo; and Abraham and Pasqualina DeFeo; and a sister Rosemary Wright. Visitation will be held from 2 to 4 & 7 to 9 on Wednesday, Nov. 19, 2014 at Kedz Funeral Home, 1123 Hooper Ave., Toms River. Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated 10:00 am Thursday at St. Joseph's Catholic Church, Hooper Ave., Toms River. In lieu of flowers donations to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, 200 Connecticut Avenue Suite 4E, Norwalk CT 06854, in the name of his granddaughter's team Lena's Loved Ones, would be appreciated.